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  • Rachelle MIlar

Managing Overwhelm


I am writing this post at 4.04am, it is very clear to me, that I am not managing overwhelm at all! I am up in the middle of the night thinking how much I have to do and wishing that someone would come in and organise me or just sort it all out or just make me stop for a minute, like even distract me from the reality of just how hard life is looking right now.

I often think it would just be lovely if mum could come over and tidy up for me, she has done that in the past. It is such an amazing thing to have someone else doing something that I don't have to organise or lead. Ie. My boys would help tidy up, but I have to instigate it and then manage them through it, plus typically do it myself as well.

So I am not smug in my little perfect world getting it all right, all the time. It can be very very easy to become overwhelmed with all the things you are expected to do and all the things that you don't know you are supposed to do. I think it would be so amazing if someone could come along and give me some nice clear direction that said, do this and that and then stop! I think we all wonder when the knight in shining armour is going to come along and rescue us from all of this. Whatever this is.... I'd probably tell him/her they are doing it wrong! LOL....

So I have to listen to my own advice....

No. 1 - Don't take too many things on. Clear out what you really do not have to do. Ie. Put boundaries around the time you are going to spend on organising a community event (like one that is not paying you) You know how it goes;

because you are a good organiser people say, can you organise that - so learn to say no or at least yes and I am only going to spend this much time on it, then I am letting it go....even if it is in your own mind. I think this is my No. 1, because when I am relying on other people to make decisions or who might take more time up than I am able to give, this puts me into a tail spin. Which is potentially why I am feeling like I am right now.

No. 2 - Tidy up, tidy up the house first thing in the morning. Yep, just do it... it isn't as big a job as you make it out to be. Leaving it makes it worse. Take 20minutes and do it straight away. Make your bed, do the dishes and sweep the floor. Pick up everything that is lying around and put it in a large basket. Right.... Done.

No. 3 - Organise meetings with yourself - ie. the tasks that have to be done and part of this organising is the self care stuff. This is a proactive self care not a reactive self care. For me that means go out and get my horse and achieve something that day. Liberty training, a 10 minute ride or groom to completion.

No. 4 Write down the goals that really matter and how you are going to achieve them. Talk to someone else who lives in your world (ie...has the same type of debt/job/responsibilities as you do and who is able to give you good advise, as in they are on top of theirs) Make sure they are SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timebound. The Achievable part is the part that will enable you to get up every day and make it happen. Otherwise you engage in doing other things that kill that.

No. 5 Ensure that there are some fun moments, celebration etc. Follow Joy someone said to me today. Or is it follow your joy. Anyway, joy is key in that idea. Make time to meet up with others who are about that joy piece. Who bring you joy and have joyful conversations. Joy and Happiness are a choice. They are not a reward that happens after you do something and really allow yourself to feel that joy.

No.6 Stop taking yourself so damn seriously! Haha - this is a Ben Zander saying... and it is Rule Number 6, so I had to write this here as I had got to No. 6. I think it can be really easy to try and keep things just as they are, but sometimes the way to keep them is to be okay with losing them. Everything is made up so therefore if you lose it, you can make it again...when desperation sneaks in.

No. 7 - While I am talking about Ben Zander, he also reminds us to give ourselves an A. It is about the little voice inside your head that can become pretty down on you...that stops you from making mistakes and learning and really becoming amazing. So No. 7 is what do you want that little voice to say? A little like feeding the good wolf.... So download some unconditional love, readjust that crown and keep walking foward with your chin up and your eyes open and put that smile on until you feel it!

No. 8 Write, start writing until you stop feeling bad. Much better than trying to keep it all in your head. Even though I am typing this, it is much better for the brain and the happy chemicals if you do something with your hands, writing is a powerful way to get those happy chemicals working, gardening, crochet, knitting etc...all do this too. So get those hands busy. Write until you are in a better head space.

No. 9 Make your next meal/food choice a good one, really think about how you value your body and it's energy requirements to be in a good space requires you to eat well. Fruit is an easy source of good energy, good sugars that get the brain going. Lovely cold crisp water is wonderful too and while you are at it. Stop and really enjoy these things, mindful eating means that you truly take in that nourishment. It can be easy to just eat mindlessly or distractedly, but that is not helpful. Stop and Eat. That is all.

It is now 4.36am and I am going back to sleep... feeling a whole lot better after just writing this all out.


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