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  • Rachelle Millar

Finding your True North & a Full Moon

What is your true north, your why, your purpose? And why should you care?


I was explaining just how much joy I got from working with, training and riding my horse. I was planning on him having a break thinking he was young and had to process for a while so do I take his shoes off and turn him out? He is changing so much and I really haven't ridden him a great deal. I have been careful to let him grow and not over-face him or myself. But I feel like I just can't stop now that I have started. My friend said to me, that's because he is your why.


On the last two Sunday's I came back north with my two teenage sons in my car singing to the tunes playing on the car stereo and again, that shot of joy. I had gone on a roady this last Sunday, no plans but all the toys, which took them surfing and then mountain biking at Woodhill trails. They were happy, engaged in life and we were together. Completely present and comfortable in each others company. That is my why!


People reach out to me when in crisis and ask for my help, valuing my experience and qualifications. I listen deeply to them. Acknowledging their pain points. I show up for them however I can, even if it is to point them in the right direction, connect them with someone else or take on a committee role. That is my why!


Because I believe that I can make a difference in the world.


And I simply can't stop being me.




"You can't help being a teacher can you Rachelle", my sister said after I had imparted some advice on her driving. I thought that was the kindest thing she could of said, that quietly told me to butt out! The ability to praise someone and hold a boundary. What a talent. That is her true north and people gravitate to her.


It can be easy to see how someone else does something and say I wish I had that talent. The ability to name something in such a positive way.


Being seen and heard. Often that is all that we want people to do. Check out the likes on that Facebook post! We are often all vying for attention like 4 year olds. What incredible algorithms that this social media tapped into.


My sister has set up and run a successful surf school and business in Whangamata. And now is becoming a Real Estate Agent, interesting, is that her true north? What is pushing her in that direction? Is it the flexibility to be with her kids, to make money and to connect with others in a different way. Both our parents were in real estate, they loved it. All I could see was weekend and evenings taken up outside of our family. I never wanted it for me. But our why's are all different and how and what we do is merely a manifestation of our why.


Yet with the lull of Covid and the world changing, it is interesting how we can turn to something that we know. Is that the right thing to do? Could it be the path of least resistance?


Or the absence of an internal compass?


Because we can go off track. We can look around for a while at possibilities or opportunities. We can check in with the arrow that points north. We can see if we can change the dial, but the thing is. We can't... and despite the lure of lush fruits and instant gratification. The emptiness will return and we will start searching again for the path that we were on.


No matter how thick the scrub has grown back.

We ultimately will go north.


Scott Peck talks of the road less travelled... often the one that is pointing to your true north. It is hard to explain to others who don't get it. But to the ones who get it, it is easy to understand why we do what we do. And it is those people who get it that we need to be surrounded with.


If you are around the people who don't get you, that is when you know that you are in the wrong place. On the wrong path. The truth sometimes hurts... and life is difficult and once you know that, then it makes it easier to accept the difficulties. "Well, (she says shrugging her shoulders), that's life!"


Things only become a drama because we are taking everything so god damn personally.


The old saying, what we focus on grows, if we are focused on the bad, the problem, then it grows, if we are focused on love and purpose and vision then that grows.


Do what makes you happy, every single day... know your why for doing it. I remember someone saying to me when I was in my early 20's. You could be making more money if you were ...(Doing this or that) and I was like. I am happy... and all in good time, I am working on something bigger than you can see right now. I can see it, but I can't explain it.


Today I am happy, some of my true norths have come to fruition... I can breath a bit of a sigh of relief as I was wanting them to come, but I couldn't force the situation. I had to trust that someone would see and hear my true north.


And it is wonderful when all of a sudden, it is seen! In it's brilliance like a Full Moon.

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