Finding your Purpose
In 2004, I found my life's purpose. It was to "Hold open a learning space". The reason I needed to find that purpose and the importance of creating clarity where there was clutter and peace where there was conflict was the fact that I was very good at all and a master of none. I was capable of doing many things, but the time of doing many things was wearing me down and it wasn't fun anymore. I wanted to find what was important to me and my quest of aligning my values, making meaning out of my life and my purpose helped me to make the changes required to send me into a new career a new way of being in the world.
I am sitting here at 48 and my purpose statement made at the time became a defining principle for me. When an opportunity came up for anything, I used it to measure what I did. Does this hold open a learning space. Or am I doing it because I can. I love helping people and I am very quick to jump in and help out. But sometimes people are not really needing me, they are but perhaps not appreciating what I offer, so over time I have learnt to remove my self from those spaces and wait now for them to ask me to help rather than put my hand up and put myself forward.
Am I still 20 years later holding open a learning space, absolutely and does the holding open a learning space fill me up - every single time. But perhaps I could look to find a stretch with this, perhaps there is more to me than just this purpose now that I feel I have finally really become that person, in a soft way, not in a hard way, it just is... I don't have to become it anymore.
So perhaps my purpose is alot more than just a statement, perhaps it is to just be and to love and be loved and that is all. This journey at times has been very confronting as you consider the commercial space along with your own wellbeing. How painful the egoic world can be and yet you can get easily drawn into it, being it, complaining about it. Where the drama of life sucks you in...and sometimes spits you out.
Over the last year as I have really embraced living at the point, Te Arai Point, I feel I have truly come home, I have also asked questions of my self and answered them in quite different and very unique ways and I am finding that I am liking my self a whole lot more for doing so. And in that space of liking and loving my self I am also finding a lot more people that I love and like also, that dance to the same tune and who really fill me up and make me happy.
So I want to honour that, our purpose, because it is really rather simple. Our purpose is already playing out. How we make meaning, perhaps even how we make decisions needs to be defined, but how stunning just to be and to interact being an infinite being, connecting with other infinite beings and shining back to them exactly how fricken amazing they truly are.
If you want to find a measure and gauge to change or transform you life, I believe finding your purpose in the here and now is key, what makes your heart sing, what keeps you in flow and what would you do every single day that you would be quite happy if you didn't get paid for it. I wonder too, if at the time that you find your purpose, you find your vision. Perhaps it is not about what is happening in the now, maybe it is what you will become, because when you become that, you will then search or define the next part of who you are.
Sometimes we have to find purpose, because what we are, we don't really like and it is really not serving us in the now. If we can define what our purpose and meaning is in the now, then we can put steps into place that transform our selves into exactly that.
For me, that was how I was able to move myself into the work that I do now, and right at the start the work that I did then. That faith and utter belief that, that was what was going to make me truly happy.
You can't just write about it, you have to experience it and live it to truly realise this. At 48, I am just super excited at what I might know when I am 60 - just wow.